How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
