remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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