Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
