I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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