is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
