I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
