You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
