sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
