he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
