Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
