so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
