just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
