Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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