I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize