I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
