you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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