Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
