Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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