I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
