Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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