something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
