Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
