Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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