mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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