i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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