2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I can text with my tongue
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
