I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So much Jack, so little girl.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
