I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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