That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
