im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
