Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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