yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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