i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
