after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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