We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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