allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
