You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
