At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
