i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
