Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
