Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
