I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize