The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
