There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Two words: blizzard sex
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
