Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
