he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
