I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
my being single is dangerous.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
