My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
