So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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