I feel like I'm in dance class right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
