I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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