So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
