i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
