She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
