I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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